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If Only There Were an App for That...

I want an iPhone app that lets me take pictures of my record albums in high enough resolution to be able to digitally scan the grooves of each track on each side of the LP, then saves 'em as MP3s. Oh, and of course, it should recognize the album (and therefore all the tracks) by either the album cover or by OCR'ing the record label, so that artist data and track names etc are all added to the appropriate ID3 tags of the MP3 files. Confirmation with CDDB would be nice. Oh, wait, there's another must-have feature: if it recognizes that I have a particular track or album already in my iTunes library, it does the right thing and skips the digital recognition and conversion to MP3 of the grooves and instead uses the existing MP3. BUT, if it notices that the sample rate of the existing MP3 is less than what it can achieve by doing a new digitization of the grooves, it ignores the existing MP3 and digitizes a new one off of the grooves and replaces the existing MP3 with the higher-quality one. Oh, and of course it should have built-in pop detection and digital noise reduction: no noise from the scratched surfaces of the LPs. Oh, and it goes without saying that I would like the app to be able to play the song and act as a turntable in real-time if I so much as point the iPhone camera at a record. So, like, everything happens in a split second: as soon as I aim the lens at the side of an LP, it is instantly recognized, digitized if necessary, and playing can commence right away. Oh, and it would be nice if the act of shaking the iPhone while it was looking at an LP caused the sound to wiggle and scratch like a DJ turntablist.

Mmm-kay? Can I have that like tomorrow?

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