February 2010 Archives
I recently had to check in at the Southwest Airlines to get an online boarding pass. A few years ago this was a relatively unsurprising annoyance. Now, it's gotten downright weird.
It used to be that if you timed it right, and got in exactly, precisely 24 hours and 0 minutes and 0 seconds prior to departure time, you could click and print and you'd find that you not only were in boarding group "A" but had a very low number, sometimes single digit. The number never meant anything -- they were always ignored at the gate. What mattered was that you were in group A.
But if you really wanted first dibs on seat choices, say, you preferred the extra legroom of the wing exit seats, then you not only had to pull the 24-hour-prior web stunt, but you had to get to the airport extra early, and be ready to stand at the front of the A line oftentimes long before anyone else -- passengers, gate personnel -- even showed up. if you were that determined, you could get your choice of seat.
(Of course, sometimes you'd discover all that work was for naught: the Southwest flight you'd booked turned out to be a connecting flight, and you'd enter the plane only to find a bunch of passengers, typically disheveled, tired, and eager to continue their journey, taking up many seats already, including, inevitably, all the wing exit seats.)
Fast forward to now. Southwest no longer just checks what boarding group you're in. Now there's a position number within that group. And here's where it gets suspicious. The last few times I've done the exact 24-hour-prior thing with SWA's website, I had a separate browser window with time.gov's official atomic clock running, so I could be fairly confident of the exact time. I'd have pre-entered the confirmation number and first name and last name so all I'd have to do is click at the right moment, and then land on the next page just as the clock struck whatever. And then there'd be the mad hand/eye coordination rush to click the checkbox in the list (stupid and unnecessary if there's only one item in the list and it's your one fight) and then click the button to actually print out the boarding pass. The goal is to click that print button as fast as possible. And you know what? It's no longer like the old days. Now, within perhaps four seconds of the exact 24-hours-prior mark, clicking the print button gets you a boarding group A pass, but you see a position number that's very high, like 60, in my most recent experience.
Which makes me wonder: I simply do not believe that 59 people in San Diego were up at the right time of the early morning doing the same 24-hours-prior trick as I, within the first 3.9 seconds of the appointed hour. I just don't believe it. In this day and age, Occam's Razor suggests far more obvious explanations:
UPDATE. Ok, I did a little more digging and this blog post has the most likely explanation. A1-A15 are reserved for Business Select customers. A16-A60 are for "A List" members (related to their Rapid Rewards program). And then there's Souwthwest's Early Bird program where, you got it, you pay a $10 fee to get an additional 12 hours' advantage over other suckers, er, customers, to complete your online checkin -- but there are no guarantees and you may still wind up with A60.
Bottom line: Southwest's boarding practices are the major reason I deeply dislike the airline. They put all the burden on the customer and still the customer winds up losing. They've strayed so far from the original gimmick that they now require fees and other tricks that just make the whole game too annoying to play. I wish they would abandon the entire practice and just let people go to the website and click on the seat they wish and get it reserved just like most other airlines.
LOGORAMA is one of the contenders for Best Animated Short for the 2010 Oscars, and I hope it wins. I saw it as part of The Oscar Nominated Short Films 2010 presentation that's got a run in various cities right now (see them if you can! There are two: one for animated and one for live action).
LOGORAMA is one of the most creative, unusual animated work I've seen in years. Imagine a scrappy, dark Pixar from some parallel universe making a very cynical, weird animation consisting of mostly corporate logos. It perfectly captures what it feels like to drive through the LA sprawl, that's for sure.
In the span of just a few minutes, there's far more than you could possibly catch in a single viewing. It's like the aural equivalent of one of the classic Firesign Theatre skits. Only with repeated listens would you catch all the references. LOGORAMA is the kind of work that you almost need a Blu-Ray DVD player for, so you can watch the film one frame at a time to catch the 2,500 (so I've read) or so logos and brands that are featured. One boggles at the thought of all those corporations suing the living daylights out of these filmmakers -- part of what makes the film so astonishing is its brazen nerve to represent corporate entities in a very, very different way than we've been drilled into thinking.
It also reminds me of what too many MBAs dream of as the ultimate home-page design: the ultimate Nascarization of the web, every pixel sponsored by somebody or something.
(click the image above to go to the official LOGORAMA site where you can glimpse the first minute or so of the film)
I was on the phone around 19:30 last night, just chatting away, while looking at the computer screen's Terminal window which was tailing the Apache web log of my platohistory.org website, when after a few minutes I noticed a change in the rate of site traffic, from measured-in-geologic-time to merely snail's-pace. (Hey, if you have a typically quiet site, there is a vast difference between geologic and snail's pace.)
"Hmm, I think I might be seeing the beginnings of a slashdot. Wait, hang on," I said on the phone, the other party puzzled as to what I meant. I looked closely at the screen: yep, the referrers flying by were "slashdot.org". I fired up a browser, went to Slashdot, but .... nothing there.
Over the next few minutes there were a few more trickles from slashdot, but nothing to write home abou--- WAIT, OMIGOD, NO, NO, OH THE HUMANITY, OH, HOLY SH--
"Omigod I'm being slashdotted!" I said on the phone, "This is awesome!"
I watched as the web log spewed out new requests, the window scrolling madly as The Eye of Sauron turned its gaze on my lowly platohistory website. Being slashdotted is a thing to behold.
All during the night, every hour or so, Slashdot would publish a yet-newer article that would push the PLATO article further down their homepage. Witness, I pray thee, the consequences of being pushed down the Slashdot homepage: the traffic goes down precisely as one's link goes down. And then, around 10am, the firehose becomes a garden hose, and then a straw, where it remains probably for the rest of the day.
That was fun. Must try that again sometime.
Wow, it's been eight years and a day since I started this blog. And nearly thirteen years since I started the Nettle blog.
Eight years later and the State of CA still says they have a total of $753.82 in unclaimed funds waiting for Andy.
And now for something completely different. A well-done public service advert from UK:
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